An amazing thing happened to me last week. A trusted friend held me accountable for a decision I made that had very unintentionally hurt my wife. He told me what he had seen, and called on me to get to work on it.
Seems simple enough, I suppose. But if it were easy to do then everyone would do it for those around them. It's simple, but not easy. My friend - my spiritual brother - knew he had permission to call me to account for my actions. We've spent three and a half years of friendship getting ready for him to do that for me. We meet with a group of folks almost weekly for lunch, developing relationships that matter to our lives. We share what we're comfortable with, and some things that stretch our comfort but need to be shared. We are accepted in our successes and in our stupidity because we are all quite capable of making mistakes and we know it.
He knew me well enough to know that I was blind to what I was doing. He also knows that my wife is important enough to me that I would want to know about it, and get kicked in the butt for it. How else was he going to help me? Letting it pass is easier, but it wouldn't have helped anyone.
I believe we are given the opportunity for real, powerful relationships so that we may help each other out. Two heads are better than one, it is said. More eyes to see, more synapses to fire, more perspectives to consider. It's a blessing to have such friends, and I have more than one.
Where are you experiencing real relationships in your life? Who's "got your back," not just to cover for you but to show you your blind spots? Everyone needs people like this in their lives. You, too. Consider who you might build that kind of trust with and get to it.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
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